We could have just watched the last 10 minutes!

Philip and I have been sans kiddos since Monday.They are both away at church camp. Last night was the first night I didn't have my nose stuck in a school book studying something for the two Nursing School classes I'm taking this summer. We ventured out and actually had a date! Well, we had a date after he attended a finance committee meeting for the church and then we both attended a parent meeting for the church....all this after work and a bridal shower he was forced into attending by the ladies at work! So date night started at 8:30....almost bedtime, if you're asking me! Anyway.....dinner at Red Lobster thanks to Tiffany and the JETs (my sister and her family) via a giftcard received in the mail and then home to watch the latest Netfliz arrival which happened to be...drum roll,please........

I am so out of the loop on movies and didnt know what to expect from this movie. Please be warned; there is enough gratuitous sex, nudity, etc. in this movie to last you a lifetime. In other words, dont watch it if children are in the house, could come into the house, could see the screen through the window, etc. Its just not appropriate. OK Ill continue on now.

I was thinking this was going to be one of those movies where the two people started the 'friends with benefits' setup and then fell into a relationship but didnt mean to. It started like this but then the storyline goes all warped and you see that the main female role has a major medical illness. Where did that come from? Come on now, writers. Please decide beforehand whether you're going to write a hook-up story or a tear jerker story. I'm pretty confident in today's day and age that those two Hollywood portrayals are mutually exclusive.

So after some hook-ups, a walk out, a break up, a hook-up with someone else, a meet up, a possible move up, and an 'OMG what have I done' moment, the two stars meet up on the side of the road after he has chased her bus down the road and convinced her to come talk to him outside. Their dialogue goes like this:

Maggie Murdock: I'm gonna need you more than you need me.
Jamie Randall: That's okay.
Maggie Murdock: [crying] No it's not! It isn't *fair*! I have places to go!
Jamie Randall: You'll go there. I just may have to carry you.
Maggie Murdock: ...I can't ask you to do that.
Jamie Randall: You didn't.

 

and its at that moment that I realize that we really could have just watched the last ten minutes of the entire movie. 

That ten minutes was representative of the past three years of mine and Philip's life together. I have needed him more than he's needed me. It hasnt been fair. I did and still do have places to go. He made sure I got where I wanted to go and where I needed to go. He has carried me and still does sometimes. And you know what? I didn't have to ask him to do any of it and I know that I never will because thats who he is and how he loves me. This man, this wonderful man. He's my rock. I would sink without him.

Catch Up Post #3 --- The Two Paths of Me...Yes Im that Dramatic!

Taking into account the fact that almost three months have elapsed and a multitude of events have occured, I think I'm going to divide this blog entry into Categorized Posts. In an effort to make the most of your time and mine, this is going to be the "Wham, Bam! Thank you, Ma'am" version of the past ninety +/- days. If I fail to mention any crucial events, you probably won't even realize it; therefore, you won't be any worse for the wear and your life won't be any less fabulous due to the omission! So, on with the program!
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Could it get any more dramatic? I mean, seriously people. If you happen to have the misfortune of being a friend of mine on FaceBook (bless you for putting up with my whining) then you must have thought I had gone crazy when I posted this on April 5th of this year...

"There's one path thats planned out; its just about to start, steady, predictable, 

with a known end, I prefer this one, this one is MY plan. There's that other path;

I've been on this one for a while, Im tired of it, I only see a piece of it at a time,

I don't like it, its scary & unknown, it looks really rocky with lots of ups &

downs, is this GODS plan for me? Come on God, give me a hint! I can keep a secret!"

...and again when I posted this on April 18th...

"Dear Creator of Cool Whip, Thank you for creating a food that tastes good

and doesn't hurt my stomach. Too bad its mostly air and has no nutritional

value whatsoever :( "

Thats me in a nutshell! The word 'interesting' doesn't quite convey to the masses the way life has been for the past several months. More fitting would be 'bipolar,' 'roller coaster,' 'extreme;' you know, all those words that communicate polar opposite situations. I have learned many things of how to be and how not to be, what to do and what not to do. I have felt many emotions, needle pricks, and sickly sensations. I have made decisions and struggled on whether they were the right ones. I have gone through minutes that seemed like eternity and lived through things that I didn't think I could make it through. In essence, the drama has been intense. So in the life of me, the drama begins a little something like this:

The only doctor in town that would take my case after I came out of the hospital with a blood clot in my brain in January of 2009 left town in September of last year and didnt notify me. I found out when I went tried to get an appointment for some major pain in my right leg. We're talking bone-breaking pain. Alas, I had no doctor to treat me.  I was thinking the worse, of course....another blood clot and proceeded to FREAK OUT. His replacement doctor wouldn't see me for a month and a half....not acceptable. I prayed for intervention. God sent this in the form of another doctor, just not one for me. Weird, huh? My children's pediatrician is FABULOUS! We were talking one day at church and he mentioned that he had just met a new doctor and he thought she would be a good match for me. Boy, was he right. I called to make and appointment with her and she was able to see me the NEXT DAY!!!! During the appointment I was concerned that she wasn't going to be willing to take me as a patient like all the other doctors in town, since I am so high-risk. When I told her this, she said that she had never heard of a doctor not taking a patient due to them being high-risk. Needless to say, she is my new doctor and she is a BULLDOG. Where Mayo Clinic and my previous doctor told me to live with my stomach issues and the inability to eat she was not willing to accept this and wanted to find the reasons behind the issue! Let's just say I have had every test, procedure, blood draw, screening, etc. We have had successes and failures. I have been sicker than I have ever been but we have found out some things that we would have never known had she not been so intense. Being the intense doctor that she is, she sent me to her husband who is the local cardiologist. He is just as wonderful as she is and just as determined. Though I fear that my case is frequent fodder for dinner table discussion!

Some things we have learned about this wonderful body God gave me and is healing as I type:

---There is a hole in my heart (either a PFO or an ASD) that more than likely caused the blood clot in my brain....woohoo for knowing a cause

---I am allergic to anesthesia, all narcotics, pain meds, etc. Thus we will never know if the hole in the heart is a PFO or ASD due to the fact that I would have to have anesthesia for it to be fixed

---I had lymph nodes show positive on a PET scan which were subsequently removed which upon pathology showed no metastatic carcinoma!!! Which means no cancer in the lymph nodes!

---There is a 9 cm mass on my pancreas which did not show up on the PET scan. It was classeified on CT as confluent gut but all doctos say MRI is needed to rule out non-PET responsive neoplasm. This will not be done! Hard decision but I have peace with it  : (

---My tumor markers are off the charts but there are no tumors showing up on PET! Oh, the drama!

---My stomach is slowly and I stress the slowly part, starting to sporadicly work and Im being incredibly liberal with both 'slowly' and 'sporadicly.'  I have decided that everything I eat is going to hurt so Im going to eat anyway. Its that or die. I dont particularly like that option so Ive chosen the pain with consumption option.....except Cool Whip, of course it doesnt hurt at all! 

---My weight is stable, Praise the Lord! Through the course of this whole ordeal I have lost 107 pounds. I struggle finding clothes to fit and frequently shop in the little girls section. Let's just say Im tired of hearts and rainbows on everything.   

---BIG SMILEY FACE ON THIS ONE!!!!!!!!!!! I have decided to 'Let Go and Let God!' No more tests and no more doctors unless I absolutely have to go to one for a check-up or something. Ill still be monitored regularly but no more searching.

So thats the health path; the roller coaster path; the bipolar path; the BLAH path. Now onto the WOOHOO path! One wacky Thursday I received a call from my doctor telling me my tumor markers were off the charts. Bad news : ( I came home to tell Philip. While waiting for him to get home, I checked the mail and received my acceptance letter for Nursing School! Hello EXTREME emotions! Happy Happy Nursing School....Sad Sad Tumor Markers High.  

So while on this blasted roller coaster of health junk, Ive been preparing to start Nursing School all the while not knowing if I would really be able to. My doctors told me that I shouldn't take my immunizations shots because I was too sick to get them....I took them anyway! My doctors told me I shouldn't expect to get the all clear from the lymph node biopsy....I got the all clear! My doctors told me I wouldn't have the energy to go to class if they put me on a cardiac rhythm-regulating med....I refused the med! My doctors think I should have an MRI on my pancreas to check on that mass....Im not doing it!  My doctors tell me not to go to school because I am too sick...I AM GOING TO SCHOOL AND I AM GOING TO SUCCEED! All it takes is for one person to tell me they think I cant do it to make me want to prove them wrong. I have three people telling me that I shouldnt do it. They also told me not to have major surgery without anesthesia....and I did and Im still livin'. If my God can get me through a blood clot in my brain and can get me through no food for many many months and can get me through surgery without anesthesia, my God can get me through 15 months of Nursing School. Because MY GOD CAN DO ANYTHING!

Please keep in mind, its just not me experiencing all this. I have three other people that go through these things with me. Some of this Philip and I chose to keep from the children due to the timing issue of situations coinciding with major testing at school. Other times we just felt it was just too stressful for them to be told that I was having yet another procedure and for them to be worried for another day. I want them to have a normal childhood; its not normal for them to know what to do and who to call when their mom has a seizure or to have to ask their mom if she's eaten on a particular day. There is nothing normal about that : (  My steadfast and true hero through all this has been and continues to be the love of my life and my best friend. He has learned with me, helped me process situations, helped me make decisions and supported me regarding the one's I ultimately had to make myself. He has held my puke bucket and smoothed my brow, covered me up and warmed me when I was cold. He has asked questions I have forgotten to ask and answered questions when I asked 'why me?' He encourages me to eat and has supported my goal to go to Nursing school even when my doctors have told me they dont think I can do it. He is and continues to be an amzing man, father, and husband and there is no way my life would be as wonderful as it is at this particular moment if he wasnt it.....because as I found out through all these things its not what you do or who you are that makes your life wonderful its WHO YOU MAKE YOUR LIFE that makes your life wonderful. And these three people are my life!

Easter Sunday 2011----My Wonderful Life : )

Catch Up Post #2---Family Going Ons!

Taking into account the fact that almost three months have elapsed and a multitude of events have occured, I think I'm going to divide this blog entry into Categorized Posts. In an effort to make the most of your time and mine, this is going to be the "Wham, Bam! Thank you, Ma'am" version of the past ninety +/- days. If I fail to mention any crucial events, you probably won't even realize it; therefore, you won't be any worse for the wear and your life won't be any less fabulous due to the omission! So, on with the program!
____________________________________________________________________________________


FAMILY GOING ONS

Last I blogged the kiddos were still playing basketball through Florence Parks & Rec. They both had a great time. PJ's team placed second in his age group and earned a massive trophy and bragging rights for the year. Avy's team didn't place in the tournament but we learned so much and plan on kicking some tail next year!!

2nd Place--Forest Hills Royal!

Thats My Girl!

We have had many get-togethers with family. My moms birthday was February 19th. She was and forever will be 29....ageless to all of us! We surprised her with a party at my brothers home in Pleasant View Tennessee where I grew up. It was awesome! She was truly surprised. She's a blessing to all of us and this was one way that we could show her how precious she is to us.

Our precious Mom, Nana

That morning on our way up we stopped by and picked up Baby Erik at my sister Tiffanys house and we had the pleasure of spoiling him for the entire day! We also had the pleasure of giving him squash for the first time ever! Excellent picture opportunity : )

Diggin' some squash for the first time in his
whole life : )

I was responsible for the cake and Zoe helped me with the baking. She was an excellent assistant.

 

Everyone had an excellent time. Some of us even got a little crazy.....my daddy! 

I dont think I have ever had that much fun ....the whole family played Wii Just Dance. Video will not be included on this blog because I don't want to die and I dont want my sister to go to jail for my murder! Let's just say we would win the $10,000 on America's Funniest Video if I were to send it in. She is just that hilarious! She rocks my world, she's so funny.


That night we crashed my sisters house and stayed with them. The boys worked at my uncles house the next day rebuilding after the Nashville flood and the gals and Baby Erik went to the Factory in Franklin to shop! We had a great time. I enjoy watching my sister be a mom. She's amazing! I also did Baby Erik's 6 months photos. He just keeps growing too fast.

Avy and her daddy have an Annual Daddy/Daughter Date Night. It has really become a family institution. Avy and I shop for the perfect outfit with all the accessories. Her daddy picks her up and takes her out to dinner and a movie. I provide 'professional' photographs for a fee of Junior Mints. Its really a great memory maker and a good time for Avy and her daddy to spend some one-on-one time. I don't think Philip was prepared for what he saw this year though. Avy is 8 years old. She takes after her daddy in height. She about 5 feet tall and looks like shes about 12. Well her outfit made her look every bit of 12 years old this year and her daddy was not happy about it at all.

Report cards came out and in consistent fashion both PJ and Avy received all As. Awards Day was on March 18th and they both cleaned house award-wise!

PJ and I had a date night to go see the Diary of a Wimpy Kid movie. He refused to dress up in 'all-boy' fashion and was less than excited about taking pictures. Being the horrible mother that I am, I made him take pictures because one day I'll be old and he may actually want a picture of me when I was younger and cuter and not old and wrinkly : ) 

Yes, he is taller than me by a good three to four inches!

Avy and I went to Nashville to mom and dads on March 26th for the day. We spent time with Tiffany and Baby Erik and mom. Avy wasn't feeling well the entire time. Turns out she had the FLU : (  She was out of school for three days. Even worse she had exposed Baby Erik to the Flu. Thankfully he didnt come down with it.

We traveled to my brothers house again on the 2nd of April for our nephews birthday party. Huge kudos to my brother for renting a massive blow-up jumping castle. Happy Birthday to the happiest little man, Caleb. What a blessing you are to this family! We love you.

We have been counting down the days for this week for a while. Spring Break was finally here. It began with me recovering from a procedure that I will cover in the health update. Anyway plans were shortened. Monday was a rest day! We played Wii  and watched movies all day. Tuesday was the day....a zoo day to be exact!!!! We traveled to Birmingham to the zoo and to the Botanical Gardens. This day was shortened too due to less than adequate energy.

Wednesday was another recover day. Thursday I spent the whole day with Avy doing whatever she wanted.....shopping. Friday I spent the whole day doing whatever PJ wanted.....playing Wii and watching movies. Saturday we, as a family, got to go to the movies FOR FREE! Thanks to the Fraternal Order of the Police we were treated to two movies. Megamind and Gulliver's Travels.....Hilarious with really good music! That Sunday we celebrated the April Birthdays on the Gambrell family side at Ed and Dru's house. Philip and I worked in the garden in the evening. Best part of the day!

For Easter we traveled to my sister's house in Franklin Tn for a massive Easter Egg Hunt and lunch. We had a great time. I enjoy spending time with both my sisters and my brother and wish that we could get together more often.

The Tabor family ready for their first ever Easter Egg Hunt.
I see many Easter Egg hunts in there future! Love you guys!

The eggs....all 437 of them! Good grief, what were we thinking?

Ready for the hunt!

Is this what Im supposed to be doing, Mommy?

Zoe doing some egg-cellent hunting!

Easter morning the fabled bunny had visited our home and I ran to the Doughnut Shoppe. It was sweets for breakfast!!!!! Philip had given up several things for Lent and I think it was harder on me than it was on him. I love getting him lemon filled doughnuts and I hadnt been able to for 40 days and 40 nights. On Easter morning I got him 3 lemon filled doughnuts!!!! After church the children wanted to go to the park by the Marriott and play, so thats what we did. Our budding photographers also took some pictures of me and Philip.

Easter family picture

Our budding photog, PJ too this one

And our other budding photog, Avy took this one.

We had massive, killer storms on April 27th that I still have nightmares about. Thats a whole other blog.

My Philips went to Montgomery with the 4th grade class of Forest Hills on the 5th and 6th of May. Avy and I were left to our own devices. We had a great time with each other. But we were ready for the boys to get back. We missed them immensely! Friday was International Day for the 3rd Graders and we had to make Shepherds Pie. It was disgusting. It had about 3 pounds of grease on it and I even followed the recipe exactly. I just prayed that it wouldnt make anyone sick. Shepherds Pie will never be made in this house again.

Saturday we went to mom and dads to see my mom for Mothers Day. She continues to be my go-to gal when I'm at a loss on how to proceed in life. When I was little I gave her this poem "Moms are nice. Moms are sweet, but my mom is the most unique." This is still so true. How many people can say they have a mom who prays for you every day. Will drop everything at a moment's notice to come to you. Knows how to grow grapes to put your kids through college. Can talk to God for you when you can't. Who can say they have a mom like that? I can because I do. She is so precious, she is so true, she is so unique, so is blessed and I love her to the stars and back.

Catch Up Post #1---Organic Living

Taking into account the fact that almost three months have elapsed and a multitude of events have occured, I think I'm going to divide this blog entry into Categorized Posts. In an effort to make the most of your time and mine, this is going to be the "Wham, Bam! Thank you, Ma'am" version of the past ninety +/- days. If I fail to mention any crucial events, you probably won't even realize it; therefore, you won't be any worse for the wear and your life won't be any less fabulous due to the omission! So, on with the program!

ORGANIC LIVING

The Garden is in the ground! This year we have decided to attempt to grow just about everything we could possibly need to feed our family. We have planted potatos, onions, broccoli, cabbage, peppers, tomatos, squash, zuchinni, cucumbers, carrots, okra, corn, watermelons, sunflowers, cantelope, honeydew, etc.

Nature's Manicure!

My Favorite Farmer

We have already harvested four massive, beautiful heads of delicious broccoli. You see three in the picture because we left one at DruDrus house and she ate the entire thing before we even made it home! I think she liked it too : )  Home grown broccoli tastes so different from what you buy in the store and the crowns of each were at least 10 inches across. Thats with no pesticides---completely organic. You can't buy that at Wal-mart.

Keep it coming, broccoli plants! We love us some green trees!

I set out 240 sweet onion sets and I am amazed at how well they are doing. Let's just say we won't have to buy onions for a very long while. I set out 50 seed potatos and 36 produced plants. They have just now started to flower which means the roots are busy underneath making those yummy potatos. I think we are just excited about eating the fruits of this planting as we are about getting to harvest them. Getting all muddy while searching for potatos has some kind of wild appeal for children. I liken it to searching for Easter eggs but you get to get all nasty while doing it and you don't get in trouble. The corn has been a challenge this year due to all the rain we have had. We set out G-90 sweet and Kandy Korn right before a massive gully washer storm. We didnt think we lost any but alas we were wrong. We lost all the Kandy Korn and the G-90 is growing in sparse at best. Philip has since replanted and we are hoping for a better harvest and a more consistent growth pattern.

 

240 Sweet Onion Sets!



 


Just the stalk is as thick as my finger. Just think
how big the actual onion bulb will grow to be!



Seed Potatos

Potato Plants



Corn



A chicken coop is next on my wish list. The way my children eat eggs has me aching for some chickens of our own. I also loathe the thought of all the crap that is in the meat that Im feeding them when Im grilling chicken or making chicken pitas using chicken that I get from the store. Raising our own chickens would fix that and would make for a great farm tax write-off and for less crap going into my kiddos bodies. Maybe I will ask for chickens for Christmas! Philip and PJ have been working on getting fences up at the farm so that we can start having cows and raising our own beef. This has been put on the back burner due to the fact that beef has SKYROCKETED....also known as TRIPLED. A calf that would have cost 40 cents a pound now costs anywhere between $1.10 to $1.50 a pound. The herd will have to wait until the costs go down quite a bit. Until then we'll stick with chicken....or pork.

Lately I have been keeping up with several blogs whose writers routinely post recipes.

http://joyinmykitchen.blogspot.com/  is a blog I read religiously. She posts recipes that she has made herself and tasted herself. Most of the ingredients are healthy or the recipes can be tweaked so that they are more healthful. She has a recipe index that you can search where the recipes are organized in categories. I use this all the time because I always forget to bookmark the page where I saw that one recipe that I wanted to make. Silly me : )

http://happilyeverjohnson.blogspot.com/  is another blog I read religiously. Queen B is the wife of one of my high school classmates. She's a mom, just gave birth, graduated from medical school, and still finds the time to blog daily, cook dinner, and make a weekly menu for her family. She is my inspiration!!!! If only she could lend me her cape! She posts something called "Grocery Bag" every week. This is her weekly menu for her family. It includes pictures of the foods she plans to make with the recipes and links to where she found them. Amazing! She also blogs about her experiences as a working mother, daughter of the Son, wife, all around Superwoman. I enjoy reading this blog daily.



http://www.kingarthurflour.com/recipes/yeast-breads-and-rolls   This website has been my go-to-guy when it comes to learning how to make my family's bread. Yes, you read that right. I have ceased buying store bought bread with all those nasty preservatives, corn syrup, words you can't even pronounce. I am baking bread, serving it hot out of the oven, toasting if so requested. Sometimes its a mile high becasue the weather cooperated. Other times its a bit squatty because someone stomped and didnt tiptoe through the house and it fell. Either way, I know whats in our bread because I put it in there!



Yummy Bread! No kids home to stomp and make it fall on this day :)



I have also started making our tortilla wraps since we ate at least 2500 a week. I'm exaggerating! But we went through a ton of wraps. So I was reading Queen B's blog and she mentioned homemade wraps and thus a homemade wrapper maker I became! It's super easy and once again...I know what's in them because I put it in there!

We have officially opened and started eating the last jar of homemade, home canned pickles from last year's harvest and we are trying to make them last until I can get some more made. I dont think this is going to be successful though. My kids can eat some pickles. I made and canned 14 jars of pickles last July and they made it until April. That is some massive pickle consumption!

I don't think this jar of pickles is going to last
as long as the kiddos want it to : (  

We still have canned corn and canned tomatos left. I use the canned tomatos to make spaghetti sauce and salsa. We are slowly running out of things in the root cellar (AKA underneath the house). Seeing all that space open up gets me excited about all the fresh, organic food we get to put in its place! I cant wait to hear that little pop sound when those jars seal! That is truly the sound of organic living to me!

God gave us a little reminder to trust in him during these trying times. If you read my subsequent blogs when I get around to them, you'll understand the trying times I'm referring to. On Easter Popie sent us a text that included a picture of something fabulous! It was a picture of this:

And when I saw this and with everything I was going through and with everything we were about to experience but weren't aware of, God whispered in my heart,

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet their heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, "What shall we eat?" or "What shall we drink?" or "What shall we wear?" For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."      Matthew 7:25-34